Time

Bridgedette's thoughts::

Time. We all think that tomorrow will come when we open our eyes in the morning, but we forget that opening our eyes is not guaranteed.

Yesterday Larry, his family and I spent all day at St. Luke's Baptist Hospital. We were praying and hoping for Popo to have some more time. We were waiting for him to open his eyes, to move, to acknowledge that he knew we were there for him....we were waiting for any sign or response to know that he was getting better.......we are still waiting.

While we have been waiting I have met and heard some interesting stories from the ICU. One woman was waiting on the outcome of her 87 year old fathers surgery. Another was waiting the outcome of their mother's brain aneurysm. An another was waiting for her father to wake up too. They were from all over; California, Del Rio and San Antonio.

We all somehow connected in the waiting room of the ICU. We all could feel the pain and the heartache each other was expierencing. But most of all, we all knew that each of our loved ones needed a lot of help and time.

Myself, Larry and his cousin Vanessa and I spent out time last night trying our best to sleep in the most uncomfortable chairs ever. We twisted and turned, we tried to prop our feet up, we slept at an angle....finally pure exhaustion just set in and we just slept; in the ICU waiting room...waiting for some better news.

From all this pain, I have seen Larry's family come together, spent some quailty time together and shared in the pain of what is about to come.

But I too have learned that sometimes you JUST need to be present. When I left for St. Louis I used all but 30 minutes of my leave. I had no more leave to really be here for Larry Friday, what was worse, It was the end of the month and I was under major deadlines and had a lot of time sensitve work to complete. I did go to work that friday morning thinking that I would get everything I needed to get done...by 9am I was doing great! but then I got a text that said Popo was not doing well. Thats when things changed. Work was no longer the priority. People and their feelings became the priority. I let Larry know that I was leaving my job at 1115 to bring him and his grandmother lunch, before the 12 noon visitation time. I thought I was going to staty for a few minutes and then leave to get back to my work. But what I have learned is that work is not there for you to expierence life with...people are.

People can tell you what its like, but until you are present, you will never fully understand. I wanted to be here with Larry to expierence what he was feeling. I called work and let them know what was going on, and I was cleared to stay with Larry...my work would be taken care of for me.

As people accepted Popo's condition, the stories of his life began to come out. Larry's family would speak of how he loved them unconditionally, of how he loved his Chihuahua Buddy, of how Popo and Grandma have been married for 59 years......not once did people mention how he spent all his time at work, concerned about deadlines and meetings...it was all the time he spent with his family, just loving and being there for them.

I am gald that I chose to be here for the past 24 hours with Larry. That is time I can never get back but was well spent.