Time

Bridgedette's thoughts::

Time. We all think that tomorrow will come when we open our eyes in the morning, but we forget that opening our eyes is not guaranteed.

Yesterday Larry, his family and I spent all day at St. Luke's Baptist Hospital. We were praying and hoping for Popo to have some more time. We were waiting for him to open his eyes, to move, to acknowledge that he knew we were there for him....we were waiting for any sign or response to know that he was getting better.......we are still waiting.

While we have been waiting I have met and heard some interesting stories from the ICU. One woman was waiting on the outcome of her 87 year old fathers surgery. Another was waiting the outcome of their mother's brain aneurysm. An another was waiting for her father to wake up too. They were from all over; California, Del Rio and San Antonio.

We all somehow connected in the waiting room of the ICU. We all could feel the pain and the heartache each other was expierencing. But most of all, we all knew that each of our loved ones needed a lot of help and time.

Myself, Larry and his cousin Vanessa and I spent out time last night trying our best to sleep in the most uncomfortable chairs ever. We twisted and turned, we tried to prop our feet up, we slept at an angle....finally pure exhaustion just set in and we just slept; in the ICU waiting room...waiting for some better news.

From all this pain, I have seen Larry's family come together, spent some quailty time together and shared in the pain of what is about to come.

But I too have learned that sometimes you JUST need to be present. When I left for St. Louis I used all but 30 minutes of my leave. I had no more leave to really be here for Larry Friday, what was worse, It was the end of the month and I was under major deadlines and had a lot of time sensitve work to complete. I did go to work that friday morning thinking that I would get everything I needed to get done...by 9am I was doing great! but then I got a text that said Popo was not doing well. Thats when things changed. Work was no longer the priority. People and their feelings became the priority. I let Larry know that I was leaving my job at 1115 to bring him and his grandmother lunch, before the 12 noon visitation time. I thought I was going to staty for a few minutes and then leave to get back to my work. But what I have learned is that work is not there for you to expierence life with...people are.

People can tell you what its like, but until you are present, you will never fully understand. I wanted to be here with Larry to expierence what he was feeling. I called work and let them know what was going on, and I was cleared to stay with Larry...my work would be taken care of for me.

As people accepted Popo's condition, the stories of his life began to come out. Larry's family would speak of how he loved them unconditionally, of how he loved his Chihuahua Buddy, of how Popo and Grandma have been married for 59 years......not once did people mention how he spent all his time at work, concerned about deadlines and meetings...it was all the time he spent with his family, just loving and being there for them.

I am gald that I chose to be here for the past 24 hours with Larry. That is time I can never get back but was well spent.

Change Part 2

This is a photo of my brother and I when we were little. They say that a photo is worth a thousand words...sometimes those words get frozen in time and dont change.

I come from a family of strong personalities; you can call it a survival skill or whatever, but when two or more personalities clash, be prepared for fireworks.

You see, the photo above is a moment in time....that moment is forever stuck in my parents head and hearts. I know that they mean well and they want the best for me, my brother and the lives we have, but sometimes being stuck in time is not good. There is no progress.

In this photo, I had a certain way of thinking, but now that thinking pattern is matured as well as I. When my parents feel my current thinking pattern is not correct or from their perspective, that it is full of holes....it sets off the fireworks in me.

You see, I have waited my whole life to find someone that understands me. The me that is here today. Not the child, not the teenager and not the lost young adult. Sure, some days I need some guidance, but for the most part I have Larry to talk to and with all his logic and emotions he is the best person to talk to, for me.

I guess I too forget that people are not around Larry and I all the time and do not know how our relationship works. There are many people who always say that their relationship is "fine" or that "all is well," when they are asked about how they are doing. But for Larry and I, the "fine" and "all is well" REALLY is just that.

Larry is my friend....my best friend at that! He is the person that I can be goofy, mad or sad with, the person that I go to the movies with, the person I read the newspaper with, the person that I look at and ask "whos making dinner and whos washing the dishes." lol (you know, the BIG questions in life).

We have just begun our journey together, but have spent so much time just talking to each other too. Larry tells me a long story and I learn to listen better. I tell Larry a short short story with tons of details missing and he tries to figure it out.....we are both a work in progress....mainly me, but a work in progress.

I know that I am no longer that little person in the photo above, and that I will always need my parents. But I am learning who I can become, and I want to do it with Larry right next to me, because he is my best friend and I would miss him....even if I never met him.

Change....

Bridgedette's Thoughts:

As you all can tell Larry is VERY excited to see the Red Socks play....and he is right about the history and the splendor of the unchanged Fenway Park....I know that we are going to love it!

So many things are changing around us lately, but I think its for the good.

My parents are coming home after being gone for so many years. There is some comfort in the idea that they will be home, but then there is also some discomfort. Our family is very close, so when my parents decided to make the move to St. Louis, it was a very hard change to adjust to. But since they have been away, we have all adapted...for the most part, to them not being around to save everyone. Now, its 1 week till they return to San Antonio, I fear another change.

It is now time for me to pursue my dreams. Law School.

There is no question in my mind that I have the capabilities of learning the law, its more than that. The fear comes from all the times that I told myself that "I would never."

• I would never move out of my parents home
• I would never fall in love
• I would never live with a man
• I would never make it in law school

I guess I never really thought about how many times that I told myself that I couldnt do it. The time has arrived that I stop telling myself that I cant......but that I WILL, and have.

• I have moved out of my parents home
• I have fallen in love with a Man...and a very good one too!
• I do love coming home to Larry everyday
• and I will take the LSAT's and go to Law School (so I can support Larry...just kidding..kind of).

For a long time I have been afraid of change. I am a person of comfort. But sometimes change is good. These changes that are happening SO fast, have pushed me to remember what it was like to live.....not just wondering around with no purpose.

I am looking forward to my parents being just a short drive away, but I am also looking forward to the day when I drive away to Law School.......with Larry by my side.

Hello Again

Ok so I know that we've been strangers to blogging for a little while now (actually about 7 months or so LOL) so I thought I would hopefully get our 2010 blogging skills back in order...let's see where to start...

* Bridge's parents are finally moving back home after being gone since '07 in St. Louis. It has been hectic for them but I think it's a good decision. Bridge, Vik, Uncle J, and myself are all going up at different times within the next week to help with the "convoy" home. Soon after, Bridge will begin her preparation for taking an LSAT so she can support me as a lawyer (j/k haha)

* I was recently offered a new position at Northeast Lakeview College doing more advising and getting exposure to different departments since NLC is growing fast. I've been at St. Philip's for six years this year so it'll be a big adjustment for me leaving my comfort zone but I'm always up for a challenge.

* We've almost done with planning our vacation to Boston this summer. I've always wanted to check out America's oldest major city and the history and people around Massachusetts. I've been to other areas up in the northeast like NYC, DC, Philly, and Baltimore but never Boston. Bridge has been to NYC before so this will be good for her too. Plus I am eager to see the Red Sox play. Yup that's right the BOSTON RED SOX! Now you're probably wondering how does a goofy guy in South Texas end up liking the Red Sox?

I was always a casual baseball fan. Growing up around here it was usually rooting for the Astros, Nolan Ryan, or even the San Antonio Dodgers (remember them?) but that's all. The Spurs and the Cowboys were bigger names around here. So yeah I grew up loving Gervin, Robinson, and Duncan as well as Staubach, Aikman, and Romo. But all that changed in 2004. I always liked a good rivalry and none is better than the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry...the underdog Sox versus the mighty Yanks. MLB playoffs are notoriously dramatic since they are shorter and played often back to back. In '04, I remember laying on the couch and turning on Fox to watch the ALCS pitting the highly favored Yankees (they won their division that year) against the hapless Red Sox. To fill you in, the Red Sox hadn't had any luck in over 80+ years since they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees. The Yankees began decades of success while the Red Sox often lived in the shadow of their east coast neighbors. The "Curse of the Bambino" is legendary in Boston because of that business deal back in the 1920's. Well the '04 ALCS was no different. The Yanks went up 3-0 against the Sox and, again, the fortunes of Bostonians everywhere were sucked dry. The Sox gave up 19 runs in the first game of that series as a matter of fact. So when Game 4 was played, naturally everyone expected the Yanks to coast on into the Fall Classic.

But that wasn't to happen. The Sox pulled it out like 6-5 in extra innings to force a Game 5. Nobody expected them to do it again but they won that one too. Fast forward through Game 6 (another Red Sox win) and finally into Game 7 at old Yankee Stadium. The eyes of baseball fans were watching to see if the Yanks would choke or not with the series now knotted up 3-3. By this time, I had been glued to the TV. That lazy night of Game 1 now had me all caught up in this drama! I watched each game with intent of someone watching something like they've never seen before. I saw that Boston Red Sox squad come together and play with heart against a mighty opponent that no one had expected them to defeat. Furthermore, it was also my birthday too so it was an added treat. The Red Sox ultimately defeated the Yankees like 9-3 in Game 7 and on the road too! Immediately the Fox crew went to the streets in Boston and it was absolute pandemonium. It reminded me of when our Spurs won their first title in 1999 with all that craziness! I thought to myself that I would like to visit Boston someday because that city has pride and that is good.

Anyways I was just dumbfounded that the Red Sox became only the third team in the history of professional sports to come back from a 3-0 deficit to win a 7 game series. And they did it in dramatic fashion against their opponent of almost 100 years. I thought to myself that I'd found a team to root for as close to my heart as my Spurs or the Cowboys. The Boston Red Sox are the "everyman" team. By that I mean that they represent any fan (or any person even) who has lived in others shadows, that works hard, that doesn't give up, and eventually wins. For almost a century, the Sox were constantly sub-par and had to hear it from sports buffs everywhere about how poor they were. But they just kept hoping season after season to get back to prominence. While Yankee fans are also as loyal, they have been spoiled by years of greatness. They expect their Yanks to destroy the teams they play. They expect the Yanks to win, win, win. When the Yankees did not even make the playoffs in 2008, it was almost like the end of the world was near. The Yankees to me represent trying to get over that hill you have tried to conquer for years. They are that which you have tried to defeat but could not. When the Sox defeated the Yankees in 2004, they conquered their 'hill' and eventually won their first championship since 1918. However, Red Sox fans, better known as the Red Sox Nation, are a unique group of people from all walks of life with chapters nationwide that get together to support their team. They don't care what others say, they just have faith. Faith in anything is a hard thing to have in today's world. But they got it and pass it down from generation to generation. I recommend everyone watch the 2005 film "Fever Pitch" starring Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore. I've seen it numerous times and each time it still makes me laugh and be happy that I'm a Sox fan. I was a card-carrying member of Red Sox Nation-TX (yes they have membership cards) since 2005 with the exception of this past year when I forgot to renew (dumb me).

Now that I'm getting to go to Boston with Bridge this summer, I'm excited. I think the city will be really neat. My dad has been there as well as a few of my friends and all say it's a friendly town. The day when we catch the train to Fenway Park will be exciting. To walk in and see a piece of American history will be thrilling. Fenway Park has been around since 1912 and has not changed much since then. Bostonians are very protective of their ballpark and do not like it messed with. Many have suggested that a new Fenway be built like the Yankees just did with their ballpark. But those in Red Sox nation won't let it happen. Fenway Park will stand until God Almighty tears it down Himself. How can you not admire loyalty to a team like that? So even many of the seats are still the original classic wooden type as well as the older stairways and smaller food stands. It would be like walking into a time-warp.

Bridge and I are doing well. People tell us all the time how good we look together. Yes it's true we have fun. We like to do random things and just live life. I think that's a good philosophy. But it doesn't come without work too. Yes we do have a good relationship but, despite what some might think, it does take work too sometimes. We're always learning about each other and fortunately it is not hard to make our relationship work because it's fun. Life isn't always a bed of roses. But, at the core, is our friendship. Not only are we a couple, but we're also best friends. That's something I'm proud of. So to all who read this, thanks for reading and... GO RED SOX!!!!!!!!!!!